The Platinum Ticket by David Beynon

The Platinum Ticket by David Beynon
Shortlisted for The Terry Pratchett Anywhere But Here, Anywhen But Now First Novel Prize

Friday, 11 April 2008

A Close Shave

Today I would like to talk about something very near and dear to my heart. Those who know me know that I place a lot of value on something that seems to be disappearing from business today.

Cormac McCarthy says in his novel No Country For Old Men that you can tell that the world is going to hell when people stop saying their “sirs and ma'ams”. I would substitute with “please's and thank yous”. When simple manners begin to fall by the wayside you know that you’re in trouble.

Try to imagine the last time you were at... let’s say Tim Horton’s. The service staff were probably polite – they’re trained that way. But try to remember the person who was ahead of you in line. Did they say please when they ordered? Did they say thank you when they got their order? My anecdotal evidence suggests the answer is probably not.

Imagine the last time you were purchasing a product and the service staff were disinterested or even downright rude. Call me a curmudgeon -you probably already have - but I can honestly say I don’t remember service staff ever being as rude in the past as they are today. I am, of course, overgeneralizing but the genuine "Have a nice day"s seem few and far between.

But I don’t want to focus on the negative today. I would like to relate a tale of customer service done just right. I’ve always been a big advocate of customer service. I find that businesses don’t emphasize it enough. Let’s face it, good customer service is free. It doesn’t cost a penny to be polite. It doesn’t cost a cent to go out of your way to be helpful. And don’t get me started on the insignificant cost of being cheerful. When I patronize a business and I see a disinterested, uninvolved or chatting-on-the-phone-with-his-friend service person – well, let’s just say that unless they have a monopoly I will not be visiting that place of business again. On the other hand, if I walk into a place and the person says, “Is there anything I can help you with?” and means it, that store can definitely count on a repeat visit from me.

The particular case study I would like to present today has a little bit of back-story. Early last week while I was grocery shopping at our local mega foodmart I looked down at the list and saw that the next item I needed was a package of razor blades. Now I use a Gillette Mach 3 razorblade for the smooth-as-a- baby’s-bottom feel it lends my rugged, manly features. I’ve used other blades, even flirted with those four and five blade monstrosities, but for my money the Mach 3 always left me with the most satisfying shave… That was until last week.

When I reached that alarm-rigged, metal and plastic display case they imprison razor blades in nowadays I reached for my beloved Mach 3 blades and was taken aback by what I saw. The cost of eight blades had to crept over the psychological 20 dollar barrier. My hand got to shoulder height and would go no farther.

That’s waaaaay too much to pay for some metal and plastic, my common sense told me and for once I was in complete agreement.

What to do? What to do? What to do?

Well, there was only one thing to do – go retro.

About eleven inches to the left and three rows down sat a row of lonely double-edged razor blades. Normally I would have passed them by but today they caught my eye. Actually, the $6.49 price for 10 caught my eye. I bought them, knowing in my heart of hearts that I must still had a safety razor somewhere at home.

I didn’t.

I looked all around town. I looked all around some nearby towns. I checked every drugstore and every grocery store that I can think of and I could not find a single safety razor. Well, I thought, I might be going retro but that doesn’t mean I can't use the Internet.

I checked a few places online and settled upon a Canadian company called Momentum Grooming. I ordered from them a Merkur Safety Razor [Classic] – a wonder of machine tooled stainless steel with a knurled handle for a no-slip grip.

This was an Internet order made without one bit of contact with a human being. From the beginning I had a good feeling about this company. The website was easy to navigate. The prices were clearly visible and the different shipping options, as well as their associated costs, were shown upfront. After placing my order a confirmation came through to my e-mail almost immediately. The following day when my order was processed, another e-mail was sent letting me know that I would be receiving the shipping information the following day. As promised, I received a Canada Post tracking number the following day, again via e-mail.

Today I received my safety razor from the good people at Momentum Grooming. Remember, this razor is made from stainless steel and is virtually indestructible. If anything could ship traveling around in a box with little concern about damage my German safety razor would have to be it. Buried among the packing noodles was a box containing my razor but we also had the following items thrown in for good measure:

Baxter of California facial scrub – two applications

Truefitt & Hill ultimate comfort pre-shave oil – one application

Truefitt & Hill ultimate comfort shaving cream – one application

Truefitt & Hill ultimate comfort aftershave balm – one application

Anthony Logistics For Men – ingrown hair treatment (OK, that one’s a little gross)

A Truefitt &Hill information card

A Momentum Grooming business card

All I ordered was a razor.

The last little thing that prompted me to write about this today was the receipt. Tucked away in the box was the receipt charged to my Visa showing the usual associated costs but what was written on the lower left hand corner in blue ballpoint ink was what showed me that Momentum Grooming knows what customer service is about. As someone was packing out my order they took the few seconds it needed to make a difference. There were three little words written on my receipt (you should be able to see them in the picture to the right) that will have me thinking of Momentum Grooming whenever I need anything related to caring for my manly visage.

I’ll leave you with those three little words:

Thank you, Dave!

Monday, 31 March 2008

Rat Dog

The Fiction Writer's Workshop resumed after a two week hiatus. This week's discussions centred around plot. My favourite quote of the evening is an unattributed one as follows:

What do your characters treasure most? Put it at stake and let your characters fight for it.


Think about any story that has captivated you and odds are the above quote applies.

During the workshop we also took a look at the last assignment from our workshop on Point of View. There were two choices from that workshop. The one I chose was as follows:

Please use the past tense for this exercise. One to three pages.
(Any point of view)
The lobby of a swanky apartment building--the doorman is opening the door for a female tenant just as a man walking a small dog passes the entrance. A potted plant falls from a sixth floor window narrowly missing the woman. The dog strains at the leash and paws through the remnants of the potted plant.


Quite the springboard. It actually ended up being 8 pages but once I started I had to keep going. I had a lot of fun with this one and it can be found over at the fiction notebook. I called it The Rat Dog.

Those who know me will recognize my long standing dislike of diminutive canines is creeping into my fiction. I have long held the belief that if it's smaller than a cat then it forfeits its right to be called a dog. And then there are the cat-sized ones that fall into the realm of what my friend Diane calls "kickin' dogs". I guess anything less than knee height falls into this category. Anything higher than the knee technically qualifies as a dog but if I need to stoop to pet it - well, that's iffy.

I'm happy to report that Loremaster's beginning has been rewritten and with some luck and hard work the manuscript will be revamped in short order. So far the story remains the same with a healthy portion of house-cleaning and technical corrections. Looking forward to getting it submitted so I can move onto something new...

Something new involving demons...

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Just around the corner...

I've been assured that Spring is coming. If you believe the Press it came last week. There are even signs that the season of renewal is desperately trying to make its presence known. Over the Easter weekend my son and I played basketball in the driveway - twice. The family went for a great long walk the day before yesterday along the still snow choked-path along the Grand River but it was mild and pleasant and the water was actually flowing - moving - not frozen!! And yesterday, to top it all off - a big fat robin in the back yard! Actually a pair of big fat robins hopping merrily around the bird-feeders. Joy of joys - winter must be over if my sweet friends the robins have come back.

Today those same sweet, sweet harbingers of Spring are probably taking shelter in the cedar hedge that runs along the western edge of my property cowering and wondering what the hell they were doing showing themselves yesterday. Today, as I look out the window, my eyes are greeted by a wall of white. Yes, the day after the universally agreed upon sign of Spring shows up we're find ourselves in the grip of a March blizzard.

That's life.

Speaking of "That's life" my wife directed me to a little something on YouTube. It's actually the last lecture made by a fella called Randy Pausch - a professor dying of cancer. He was featured on Oprah but don't let that dissuade you. If you follow the link, I promise you it's worth a look.

I also found out today that a geeky kind of teenage hero of mine passed away earlier this month. That's right, folks, the father of Dungeons & Dragons, Gary Gygax is dead. Back in 1974 along with his buddy, Dave Arneson, he created a world of escape where every shy awkward kid could, armed only with a pencil, some graph paper, a fist full of multi-sided dice and an imagination become a hero of epic proportions. For those of us who were a little awkward and ...well, a little geeky...it was very empowering. It was in large part the game of D&D that help inspire my interest in writing fantasy. Farewell, Gary, you'll be missed.

Writing is going slowly. I have set aside most of this week to clean up Loremaster for the eventually submission to DAW. The writing workshop gears up again this Thursday and I'm sure there's something I should have put together for that that will need to be addressed either tomorrow or Thursday morning.

The other bit of news is that although Windows Vista, in my opinion, really, really sucks, there is one part of it that I have discovered leaves XP in the dust. That feature is the built-in Speech Recognition software. My daughter is very musical and asked if there was a way we could record her voice on the computer. I knew that there was a dusty old microphone plugged into the basement office computer from my previous flirtation with Speech Recognition with XP. Well, eventually the microphone found itself plugged into the Vista-driven laptop. Low and behold, a new interface and a computer begging me to talk to it. After a little training I was running applications and surfing the web without placing a finger on the keyboard. I am, thus far, impressed.

Better get back to the other writing now...